Self-criticism will give me the confidence to achieve my objectives

We are irritated by people who criticise us. What about that vicious inner critic, though? Do you believe that using a harsh inner voice will help you achieve more? Such a notion may result in self-talk like this: "Come on, don't be a baby"; "What's wrong with you?"; "You better study harder, or you will fail terribly"; "You are a disgrace to your family"; and so on.

Not surprisingly, this negative self-talk has no positive effect on a person's confidence. "Most individuals believe that they need to criticise themselves in order to find the desire to achieve their goals," says Kristin Neff, a self-compassion expert. In fact, constantly criticising yourself leads to despair, and depression is not a motivating mindset."

A more beneficial mindset: If you desire more confidence, abandon self-criticism in favour of self-compassion. It boosts motivation by softening the blow of failure."

Recognize when you are being overly harsh with yourself to become more self-compassionate; recognise that you are dealing with difficult human challenges like everyone else.

Practice speaking nice and encouraging words to yourself: "You did your best"; "You kept your cool in a difficult situation"; "Next time you'll know what to do"; and so on.